On Monday morning, I decided it was time to get this ass out running (again). Because, really, it was about time this ass wasn't taking up so much space.
So, there I was, out running with the dog. It was pitch black at 5 am, freezing cold, and I was almost done with a really good run (and feeling pretty damn proud of myself). As I turned the corner at the end of my street, I was thinking how good I felt and how this was going to be the start of a whole, new me. That's when I my foot went down into a dip in the sidewalk. My ankle rolled under me and I had a full on party with the pavement. I ripped my favorite yoga pants sliding up the sidewalk. When the 1.5 seconds (that felt like 20 minutes) passed, I stayed face down in a pile of leaves. I was afraid to even turn over because of the amount of pain in my ankle. I was sure when I rolled over that my leg would be going one way and my foot would go the other.
Luckily, I decided to take this lovely little spill next to a chain-link fence. I crawled over and pulled myself up. This was the real test. I had to see if my ankle was going to hold my weight. This would determine if I could hobble up the street to my house, or if I was going to have to call PJ to drive down to get me. Thank the lord, Jesus, I was able to stand on my foot. I made my way, ever so slowly, up the street to my house. The dog trotted faithfully beside me while I limped home.
Apparently, the universe likes me a little chunky. I tried to go out running. Instead, I'm under doctor's orders to rest my ankle and eat Halloween candy. (She didn't actually specify the candy part, but I'm just assuming that's what she meant when she said to take something for the pain.) Unfortunately, this little injury coincided with me having not one, but two 10 hour days at work. And I'll tell you, it's not so easy to rest, ice, and elevate while you're teaching. It's generally frowned upon to lay back with your foot up while you're teaching the children. So, I'm working my gangsta limp for the week. I'm really getting good at it. I'm almost ready to be cast in 50 Cent's next video.
|I had a lovely picture of my fat cankle and my bloody knee to put here, but then you would see my non-manicured toes. Trust me, I'm doing you a favor by omitting it. Instead, please enjoy this photo of my boy, 50.|
**And be sure to visit my Zazzle store. Don't you need a new coffee mug or apron?
-->Are you clumsy, too? Feel free to share your story in the comments below...