WELCOME

You made it! Here it is... the blog where you get to sit back and laugh at - or be completely horrified by - life with 5 kids, 2 parents, 1 dog, 2 cats, 1 guinea pig, & 2 turtles (and those are just the creatures we know about).

7.29.2014

Tuesday's Tip (#40)

Here's a tip for you:

Dress for the weather.

I don't mean wear a raincoat if it's raining or mittens if it's cold. I mean don't wear a cute skirt that is going to blow up over your head Marilyn Monroe-style when you're going on a (windy) harbor cruise. If not for my nude spanx, all of the folks on the second deck would've had quite a show. Although, seeing as the spanx are nude, they might think they got some kind of weird "I've got the anatomy of a Barbie doll" show. I literally needed a team of people to get back down the stairs and prevent a major wardrobe malfunction. 

So, learn from my mistakes. Harbor cruises = pants, shorts, and clingy things that can't possibly move. Unless you like that Marilyn Monroe look. 

I can promise you that I didn't look even remotely this cute trying not to flash the entire conference on the boat.

Have a tip to share? Or a pair of shorts? Feel free to leave a comment below...

...& be sure to check back every Tuesday for a new tip!

7.25.2014

Summer

My job comes with the best perk ever: summers off. I thoroughly enjoy being off for the summer with my kids. The schedule is relaxed, there's no rushing around... We can just go with the flow. For the last two weeks, my kids have been sleeping past 9am. It's wonderful. I can lay in bed continuing my marathon of Homeland or reading a trilogy of books back-to-back, drinking coffee and no one disturbs me. After the stress of working my first full-time position since I had kids, this summer has been a Godsend. 

This isn't a real post because I'm too busy watching Homeland and drinking coffee, but here are a few pics from our vacation on Martha's Vineyard (more about that later):

So many flip flops to keep track of...
The daily bike ride to the beach 
Beach fun!
Charlotte and I (& a red solo cup)
Family shot

HEY! If you enjoy the blog, why not become a follower? I'm the one who is totally relaxed (for once). You can also stalk find me on Facebook and TwitterLike the page and follow me!

**And be sure to visit my Zazzle store. Don't you need a new coffee mug or apron?

-->What about you? Are you enjoying the summer? Feel free to share your story in the comments below...

6.23.2014

They Got Me. The Little Jerks Got Me.

My husband and I have iPhones and my kids have iPad minis. This means we have a lot of devices on one Apple ID (so we can share apps and all that). My children also happen to be fairly technologically savvy (like most kids their ages, I'm sure). This means that they're very adept at screwing with each others' settings using their own devices.

The other day, I was looking through my text messages. I was scrolling by different names of people I've texted when I stopped and started laughing (out loud). This is what I saw:


Apparently, Patrick had decided to change Lucy's name to "I Like Big Butts." I called her into my room to show her and she was not the least bit amused. She had no idea how long she'd been texting her friends from an account named "I Like Big Butts." She quickly changed her name back and then logged into Patrick's settings to change his name to Butthead. What a lovely bunch. Somehow, I ended up getting involved in this nonsense. Patrick must've figured that I helped Lucy out, and decided to exact his revenge on me. 

I texted hubs this morning and he sent me a screenshot of how my messages were appearing on his phone:



So I asked, "Siri, what's my name?" This is the answer she gave me:



I'm not sure when the change was made. But, I had been texting a mom from Sean's class about a playdate yesterday and - since I barely know her - I'm seriously hoping she doesn't think I'm completely insane for calling myself Butt in our texts. I'd probably be slightly concerned if my 5 year old were playing at a house where the mom goes by Butt. 

As someone on Instagram put it, "Let the games begin." And, since we're friends, feel free to call me Butt.


HEY! If you enjoy the blog, why not become a follower? I'm the one who goes by Butt. You can also stalk find me on Facebook and TwitterLike the page and follow me!

**And be sure to visit my Zazzle store. Don't you need a new coffee mug or apron?

-->What about you? Have your kids pranked you, yet? Feel free to share your story in the comments below...



3.17.2014

Day Off

A little more than 10 years ago, I left work one day and promptly had my first baby. For almost 6 years, I stayed home full-time and had 3 more. I then returned to work, first part-time (& had 1 more kid), and this year I'm officially full-time. In all of these years, there has never been a day when the kids were at school that I didn't have a little one to take care of. Being a teacher, if I have a day off, the kids are off with me. That's part of the reason why I love my job. 

BUT, today is different. This year, all 5 kids are in school. And they go to a private school. So, even though they are in my school district, for the first time ever, I have a day off and they don't. My kids are at school on this St. Patrick's Day, while I'm out of work for Boston city workers' favorite holiday - Evacuation Day. 

I haven't had a day off without the children since I started having them. I love my kids, but this is fantastic. I got up and got them ready for school, but PJ drove them. That left me to get right back into bed with the dog and a cup of coffee. 



Now, I'm just relaxing for the next few hours until PJ and I go to the movies with the in-laws (they're off, too). There are a million things I could get done without the kids underfoot, but where's the fun in that? I think I'll take a bubble bath instead and revel in the sound of silence. 

I've got a whole year before this happens again. I'm going to enjoy every minute of it!

HEY! If you enjoy the blog, why not become a follower? I'm the one who's chilling out ALL ALONE. You can also stalk find me on Facebook and TwitterLike the page and follow me!

**And be sure to visit my Zazzle store. Don't you need a new coffee mug or apron?

-->Have you played the game, too? (I can't get the toast out!) Feel free to share your story in the comments below...


3.11.2014

Tuesday's Tip (#39)

Here's a tip for you:

Don't get a dog. 

If you get a dog, he might be tall enough to reach all of the counters in your kitchen. If he can reach all the counters, he might help himself to the fruit bowl. Unfortunately, after he helps himself to some fruit, he'll refuse to use the trash can. This is when you'll find yourself walking in the dark at 5 am and LITERALLY slip on a banana peel. Don't slip on a banana peel. 

My life is a cartoon. Not only that, but I went back to bed with a cup of coffee only to find the dog sleeping with his head on my pillow. 

Bad dog
Have a tip to share? Or the number for a dog trainer? Feel free to leave a comment below...

...& be sure to check back every Tuesday for a new tip!



3.04.2014

Dumb Ways To Parent...

Have you seen the "Dumb Ways to Die" app? If not, you should. It's pretty funny. At the very least, click the link and go listen to the song. Go ahead. I'll wait right here. (It makes this post so much funnier if you actually know what I'm talking about.)

Apparently, this song - and the app that eventually stemmed from it - was meant to be a public service announcement to teach people in Australia to be safe around trains. It lists numerous "dumb" ways to die and you basically get the understanding that it's also dumb to not be safe around trains.

My good friend, Dawnie (her pet name at my house), decided it was totally appropriate to show Patrick the app (because it is so fun to play). He loved it and got approval to download it. AND... since we all share an iTunes account, all of the other knuckleheads play it, too. There's really nothing like hearing Charlotte (in all her three year-old splendor) sing about setting fire to your hair and poking sticks at grizzly bears with a faint Australian accent.

Little did I know, however, that the game and its catchy little tune might actually become educational. Sophie is getting to that age where she is one of the big kids in the house and can start to do a lot more for herself & others. This includes making toast with butter for herself and the little kids. She loves to do it (because the novelty of helping out the little kids hasn't worn off, yet). 

Yesterday, she was sitting on the counter waiting for the toast. When it popped, she realized that the bread was a little small and she couldn't quite get it out. So she announced that she was going to grab a fork. That's when Sean stepped in to save the day:

{singing} "Get your toast out with a fork... Do your own electrical work... Dumb ways to die, so many dumb ways to die...

Sophie, don't you know you can get electrocuted doing that??"

Please appreciate the fact that he was laughing at her. And he just turned 5. I should thank the people of Melbourne for helping my kids out with that important life lesson. I should probably go over some basic kitchen rules, while I'm at it. 



Yikes

So, if you're too lazy to teach your kids basic safety, teach them the song. At least they'll go through life knowing it's not okay to "teach yourself how to fly" or "eat a two week-old unrefrigerated pie."



HEY! If you enjoy the blog, why not become a follower? I'm the one who's teaching safety through song. You can also stalk find me on Facebook and TwitterLike the page and follow me!

**And be sure to visit my Zazzle store. Don't you need a new coffee mug or apron?

-->Have you played the game, too? (I can't get the toast out!) Feel free to share your story in the comments below...



2.25.2014

Tuesday's Tip (#38)

Here's a tip for you:

Don't switch jackets.

Don't grab your other coat when you leave for work tomorrow. If you do that, you might get all the way to your kids' school (which isn't remotely close to where you live) and realize that you can't grab the coffee and gas (fuel & fuel) that you need because you left your debit card in your other jacket. Then you will be forced to rush all the way back to where you started your morning (over an hour ago) to grab that damn debit card and you may end up cheering the fact that you were only 5 minutes late after getting coffee and gas (fuel & fuel).

Sometimes, I make my life much harder than it needs to be. Please, learn from my mistakes.


Have a tip to share? Or a solution for my forgetfulness? Feel free to leave a comment below...

...& be sure to check back every Tuesday for a new tip!