WELCOME

You made it! Here it is... the blog where you get to sit back and laugh at - or be completely horrified by - life with 5 kids, 2 parents, 1 dog, 2 cats, 1 guinea pig, & 2 turtles (and those are just the creatures we know about).

12.27.2012

Christmas Eve Photos

Every year, we kick off the Christmas festivities with Christmas Eve at my mom & stepdad's house. Lala & Monka (as the kids call them) host my family, my sister's family, and my stepsister and her fiancĂ©. It's a great start to the many Christmas celebrations we have.

It's always nice to take traditional family photos to commemorate special occasions.


Here's a lovely shot of me, my mom, my sister, & my niece.
Sometimes, though, you need to add a few Newells to realize that photos can be so much more fun.

Why take a nice picture when you can just make crazy faces at each other. Although, Lala is still trying for that perfect family shot. Come on, Lala, make a silly face already!

Here's a cute shot of some of the ladies in the family. My stepsister, myself, my mom, my sister (of Facebook prank fame), and my two nieces:
Normal is so last year...
Here's where even Lala starts to get in on the action:
Super attractive. Don't hate us because we're beautiful. (I love a good 1980's Pantene reference.)
We tried to get a shot that included all of the little ladies in the family:

Then my sister decided to look like someone who's been let out of the loony bin on a weekend pass:
So special
We got a shot of the men in the family, but they're no fun and just looked normal:

We also like to get the annual shot of the grandkids on the stairs:

But the teenager kept making faces to see if anyone would notice (we didn't until after):
We see your duck face, brat.
Duck face can only be improved upon by adding a goofy peace sign. Thanks, Deirdre.
And, yes. I'm aware that Patrick looks just like me here. Poor kid.
Auntie K also introduced the kids to the game "Ball of Tape" where a million crappy toys are rolled up into a giant ball of packing tape. The kids take turns struggling to unwrap the toys while the next person tries to roll doubles with dice in order to get their hands on the ball. The kids had a blast until a tiny bottle of bubbles burst inside the ball. Then the game became the ever so popular extreme version known as Slippery Ball of Tape. Incredibly frustrating and slimy!
And the game begins...getting that tape started was tough!
Every time Regan got her hands on the ball, Patrick would steal it with an immediate roll of doubles.

Pull, Patrick!

Now we're getting some prizes!
Sophie was rolling like a madwoman!
Thank goodness Deirdre was there to supervise and help Charlotte!


We'll finish out the pictures with a shot of Charlotte doing her best Jack Nicholson impression:








Did you take any silly family photos this holiday season?




HEY... If you enjoy the blog, why not become a follower? I'm the one who just made you look at too many silly pictures. You can also stalk find me on Facebook and TwitterLike the page and follow me!

---->P.S. Don't forget to vote for me on Top Mommy Blogs. Click that cute little brown button on my sidebar to vote for me...


**And be sure to visit my Zazzle store. Don't you need a new coffee mug or apron??







12.26.2012

The Day After...

Not to be repetitive, but it's the day after Christmas. I'm in pretty much the same state as last year. 

  • I had to put all five kids in the car to go get coffee because I forgot to add that to the pre-Christmas grocery list.
  • The house (which I had cleaned for Christmas) is in shambles. 
  • The dishes are overflowing the sink because I was still running the first load of cooking and baking stuff when 15 people came for Christmas dinner. (And, a few beers into the evening, the dirty dishes seem far less important.)
  • My daughters have changed their clothes 87 times this morning and I have no idea what is what anymore.
Clothes, clothes everywhere
  • I have put in no less than 4 million AA & AAA batteries. I hate those damn tiny screws.
  • Yesterday, I spent almost 90 minutes putting together Charlotte's new dollhouse - only to find out that Santa didn't realize the box said "dolls not included." And, even though Charlotte is a giant for her age, she won't be able to see the top floor for a few more years. 
That's a lot of dollhouse!
  • I'm still rummaging around for something to dip in my satay sauce because the chicken is gone. (roast beef? bagel crisps? marshmallows?)
  • The kids need to stop trying to cram into the Glow Crazy doodle tent together. It's definitely not made for more than two kids.

This isn't going to end well. 
In all, it's been a great Christmas. The kids got tons of stuff from Santa, family, & friends. I can only hope the chaos of the last few days makes them tired enough to fall asleep before PJ & I tonight. We could really use one quiet night on the couch before we attempt to find a place for even more stuff in our house!

What about you...did you survive the chaos of Christmas?




HEY... If you enjoy the blog, why not become a follower? I'm the one who doesn't know where to begin with this mess. You can also stalk find me on Facebook and TwitterLike the page and follow me!

---->P.S. Don't forget to vote for me on Top Mommy Blogs. Click that cute little brown button on my sidebar to vote for me...


**And be sure to visit my Zazzle store. Don't you need a new coffee mug or apron??




12.10.2012

The Magic Ornament

Here's a funny little story.

Three years ago, before Charlotte had come along, my stepmother found the cutest little pewter ornament and just had to buy it for me.





The thing that was so great about it was that it just happened to have a little snowperson family that looked just like mine. There were snowdad, snowmom, and four little snowkids. It was such a lucky little find. 

Then, two years ago, when I was decorating the tree, I came across that ornament in my box. I was thinking how it was a little sad that it wouldn't really match our family anymore now that Charlotte had joined us. That's when I turned the ornament over. And this is what I found:



Can you see it? There's one tiny little surprise snowkid right on the back. I swear it wasn't there when I first got it. Our little Charlotte made it into the family ornament.

Now, I check it every year and breathe a sigh of relief when there aren't any new snowbabies. I'm all set!


HEY... If you enjoy the blog, why not become a follower? I'm the one who still only has five kids according to the magic ornament. Phew! You can also stalk find me on Facebook and TwitterLike the page and follow me!

---->P.S. Don't forget to vote for me on Top Mommy Blogs. Click that cute little brown button on my sidebar to vote for me...

**And be sure to visit my Zazzle store. Don't you need a new coffee mug or apron??



Do you have any special ornaments on your tree? Leave a comment below...


12.09.2012

Conversations In My Head

I think it might actually be time to get my head checked. I've been getting progressively crazier over the years, but I've reached a whole new level. As usual, I'm blaming my kids for making me stupid. My mom always said that your brain goes through the birth canal. (Sorry, Paula, that visual really grosses me out.) Apparently, five times over was more than my addled brain could take.

I just discovered this phenomenon where I am having conversations in my head... in lieu of actual conversations with real people. For some reason if someone texts or emails me, I think about the response I'd give them, and then promptly forget to actually send it. Sometimes, I get caught up in daily life... I'm at work, I'm bathing all of these dirtballs, I'm trying to feed a pack of hungry wolverines (also known as my kids), and I think that I'll type out that response as soon as I get a quiet minute. And then I lose my mind. Shit flies out of my brain so fast these days that I might be in need of a serious gingko biloba infusion. 

The problem is, I'm responding in my head and my little mental checklist just checks that off and moves on to the next thing. I'm not really sure how to combat this. So here's a little public service announcement:

If you sent me a text, email, or other such message, know that I had some pertinent, witty, and well-written response to your message. In my head. Just make up whatever you want to hear. That's what I meant.

So... If you sent me a message, email, text, or tweet and I haven't responded, I'm not ignoring you. I just have no brains left. Good thing I have all of these kids to care for me when I'm old. They might have to start in year or two.


Don't laugh when you see me with six strings tied to my fingers...



HEY... If you enjoy the blog, why not become a follower? I'm the one who's a little forgetful. You can also stalk find me on Facebook and TwitterLike the page and follow me!

---->P.S. Don't forget to vote for me on Top Mommy Blogs. Click that cute little brown button on my sidebar to vote for me...

**And be sure to visit my Zazzle store. Don't you need a new coffee mug or apron??





12.07.2012

Christmas Wish List

Yes, yes, it's that time of year. Or it has been since the stores started selling candy canes in September. I don't usually ask for much at Christmas. I have 87 5 kids, after all, and it tends to revolve around them.

This year, I'm making a list. Just in case you want to get me a little something. Wink wink. Nudge nudge.


My Christmas List
  • A little extra patience. I'm not sure which place sells this, but it's probably not Walmart or Target. Maybe BJ's has it in bulk?
  • Five minutes to pee without anyone shouting to me through the bathroom door. Seriously. WTF, kids?
  • OR, soundproof bathroom doors.
  • Gift cards that I can't spend on my kids or use to pay bills. 
  • OR, a winning Powerball ticket. Don't you know how many kids I have? These silly fools are expensive.
  • A maid. 
  • One night in a bed all by myself. NO visitors allowed. None.
  • Three or four extra hours in a day to "get it all done." Yes, I am fully aware that none of this shit will be done until the kids move out. I can dream, can't I?
  • An ounce of willpower to stop eating every holiday treat in sight. I'm just about to undo all of my hard work.
  • A carpet for the floor of my car that magically repels chicken nuggets, chocolate milk and other kid detritus. I'm tired of PJ referring to the floor of the car as "the petri dish."
  • A financial backer for my new business plan. Picture it: a mobile Dunkin Donuts truck that delivers coffee to desperate moms. I am speaking from personal experience here. There is nothing worse than being stuck at a playground with no caffeine. Or being at home with the kids and out of coffee. Come on, I'm onto something here!
  • Leather chaps. That way, every time one of the munchkins in my house grabs me around the legs, I can just use a sponge to remove the evidence of dirty hands and faces. Plus, my wardrobe is really missing something. It must be chaps.
  • A fairy godmother. Just because that would be awesome. And, if you all went in on one together, that would negate the rest of the list.
Okay. I've given you all a few ideas. Good luck with your shopping!


What's on your list this year? Leave a comment below...


HEY... If you enjoy the blog, why not become a follower? I'm the one who's making a list. You can also stalk find me on Facebook and TwitterLike the page and follow me!

---->P.S. Don't forget to vote for me on Top Mommy Blogs. Click that cute little brown button on my sidebar to vote for me...

**And be sure to visit my Zazzle store. Don't you need a new coffee mug or apron??







12.01.2012

Peace & Quiet

PJ and I had to travel out of state for a friend's wedding. My wonderful in-laws agreed to take care of the kids for two nights. We've never left the kids before, but I know they love hanging with the in-laws, so I'm not worried.

Since PJ is in the wedding, he had to go join the other groomsmen at the groom's hotel. Now, I've found myself alone in a hotel room. It just occurred to me that I can't remember the last time I was alone. Seriously. All alone.

I have to get ready for the wedding, but for the next ten minutes or so, I am just going to sit here and revel in the quiet. No one is calling my name. No one wants me to make chocolate milk. No one wants to change the tv to the Disney channel. Bliss.

So, please, be quiet. I'm trying to revel over here!



HEY... If you enjoy the blog, why not become a follower? I'm the one who's enjoying the peace. You can also stalk find me on Facebook and TwitterLike the page and follow me!


---->P.S. Don't forget to vote for me on Top Mommy Blogs. Click that cute little brown button on my sidebar to vote for me...

**And be sure to visit my Zazzle store. Don't you need a new coffee mug or apron??